Friday, April 22, 2011

i'm pretty sure your life is about to be over

affecting, ardent, disturbed, ecstatic, emotive, enthusiastic, excitable, exciting, falling apart, fanatical, feeling, fervent, fervid, fickle, fiery, heartwarming, heated, histrionic, hot-blooded, hysterical, impassioned, impetuous, impulsive, irrational, moving, nervous, overwrought, passionate, pathetic, poignant, responsive, roused, sensitive, sentient, sentimental, spontaneous, stirred, stirring, susceptible, tear-jerking, temperamental, tender, thrilling, touching, warm, zealous

all these words have something in common. they are all synonyms of the word EMOTIONAL. my favorite one was hot-blooded! haha!! sooooo true!

what gender do you think of when you read all those words? men?!! i think not. sorry ladies...its true. We emote more emotion in our little toe than men do all over their entire bodies over the course of their entire lives.

am i wrong??

so, imagine my incredible surprise one day during my first few days "shadowing" one of my department's employees when mr. emotional himself asked for some help in but not limited to the pillow section (the other help was simply put, the kind you have to pay for....we don't offer that here). This solemn faced man had us paged over the walkies for he needed advice on pillows. Why? Well, he had a smelly pillow.

Come again?

A smelly pillow. It wasn't him because well, he showered every time he went to bed. It wasn't the pillow case because he washed that several times with and without fabric softener so he knew it was the pillow. Okaay sooooo the other associate, we'll just call her "Bleep" because well, she could really give a "bleep" about what this guy was talking about. She just matter of factly showed him the gussets on this type of pillow and the feather consistency on this pillow and the price of that pillow and narrowed it down for him between the 2 least expensive down pillows. Oh but mr. on the verge of tears (yet have no clue as to why thus far) doesn't want to pay full price on both pillows that he needs so he won't buy them unless we can work him a deal.

Work you a deal at "shall remain nameless"? We are a nation wide retail chain...we are not a privately owned company with the luxury to wheel and deal with all of our customers...and dude. SERIOUSLY! We have an awesome coupon policy. DO have a coupon. Just the one huh? No, we still can't use that one coupon on BOTH pillows. That's not how our policy works. SO SORRY you can't read the fine print. Yes....Bleep will go get the manager to appease ask for your sweet little heart that just seems to be about to break. Those puppy dog eyes might work if you were 4 and a girl and a lot less harry...oh and I'd have to give a "bleep". are SOL my dear SOL!

As we wait for the manager to come to our department, he asks in that "I'm just asking this so you will in turn as me the same thing" tone, how our day is going. We say just dandy....for real. That's what I said. To which I followed protocol by asking him how he was.

Can of worms opened.

In the most short story made long, we learned of how this week has been really rough for him as he got swindled at one mechanic's for a fix job that didn't seem fixed. Then because it was still having issues he decides to take it to another mechanic that says it needs the same part the other mechanic said it needed and subsequently charged him for said repairs. Hmmmmm I'm no genius here but I'm pretty sure cute little emotional man that they thought you were a girl and therefore took you for your money and did nothing for your car.

That's my hunch.


He will honor the other coupons cute little one has in his car (the very car that has been violated but not fixed) so Emo can get both pillows. Away walks Emo head tilted down towards the ground draggin his feet along the floor at a snails pace to get said coupons.

Check out was a blast! (insert sarcastic tone) Bleep was so polite and nice trying to hurry the guy out the door before he broke down into tears when STUPID me decides to wish him good luck on getting his car situation fixed.

I now have idiot stamped on my forehead....cause 10 minutes later he leaves the store.....I don't honestly recall what he said in those 10 minutes as I was just cursing myself for opening my otherwise smart mouth.

note to self: SHUT IT! and by smart...I mean smart ass.

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